Well, I have been sober a little over 3 years and I am thrilled to say it really doesn't even cross my mind much anymore. I can get together with friends and family and not only do I not crave it but I also no longer have the need to talk about it. It just doesn't even matter. I am so grateful that I don't have that struggle anymore. In the last 18 months, I have dealt with the death of a stepparent, helping my mother with her debilitating grief, agoraphobia due to the pandemic, and health concerns, remodeling and then selling my beloved home, my husband losing a job and then getting a new one in which he works nights, moving in with my mom, changing our moving plans, looking for a house, finding one and buying it. Whew!!! If I can do all of that sober...I can get through anything. House update.....we decided we are not moving to the Pacific Northwest. My daughter said they want to find a house here, my son would prefer to stay here and my mom, who is doing much better now...
I read an article this morning called Feeling Your Emotions . It talked about not having to analyze every emotion that comes up. What difference does it make it why I feel anxious or sad or irritated or whatever. Just focus on the sensation in the body and use mindfulness techniques to calm down. I am very much an analyzer but I think sometimes that keeps me stuck. For example, when I quit drinking, one of my favorite sayings was, "Stop trying to figure out why the bridge is burning...just get off the damn bridge." Today I feel grateful that my mom was able to go enjoy her birthday dinner at Steph's house with no drama. I wish we would have been invited but she still isn't speaking to me since I made up with Cindy. This next weekend I will have dinner for mom's birthday and invite her. All I can do is try to be the best person I can be. I think I need to read the four agreements again especially the part about being true with my words. I am re...